Retirement planning for three
Our son will be dependent on us for years to come, when we are thinking ahead to our retirement, he may very well be a big part of it.
We have always imagined retiring abroad or spending more time overseas in retirement but we have known for a few years that we may need to make slight adjustments to those plans. Travelling is becoming difficult with Tristan, going somewhere ‘different’ usually leaves us in need of another holiday.
It is hard to predict the future but as time goes by we wonder how independent our son will be and whether he will be more comfortable living with us for the foreseeable. That may not happen, there might be a future where he is settled and living on his own, but it is hard to know, life is unpredictable. At the moment it feels sensible to factor in the possibility that our son may live with us long-term. I would be more than happy if that is what he wanted, we feel lucky to be his parents. There will nevertheless need to be some flexibility in our planning and I know many parents in the same situation. How to protect homes in trust and ensure a loved one can remain in the family home are questions I am asked frequently in my role as a special needs financial planner.
The barn
We bought a house abroad, five years ago, when Tristan was 8. We were visiting family in Hungary at the time and trawling property sites online as we had done many times before. Travelling there was a routine Tristan was used to, we had family there who he adores, so it made sense. The dream was a detached house in a quiet village with a big garden, something old with a bit of character. We could spend a few years renovating it ready for our retirement and the odd holiday. We had lived in Hungary years before, in a village near to the Croatian border whilst my husband was studying, we missed the slower pace of life, the weather and the lifestyle.
We had researched 5 or 6 houses online and spent a week driving across Hungary getting a feel for different areas and viewing houses. It was fun but we hadn’t found anything we liked enough to buy. One day on the way home we took a detour to the village where the boys were born, just for nostalgia. We drove past our old house, past the shop, the post office and there in the village centre was a house for sale right in front of us. We phoned the number on the board in the window, booked a viewing for the next day and made an offer on it at the end of the week.
The house itself needed total renovation, it was a traditional one storey long-house, with an open terrace supported by wooden columns. In the main house there were floor to ceiling cracks in most of the rooms and the front of the house was sinking into the village wine cellar below. We actually considered knocking it down and starting again. The outbuildings were something different altogether. The family had used the property as a farmhouse, raising animals, growing grapes for wine and there was an orchard full of fruit trees. There were a series of barns and old stables in the garden around the house that were just beautiful. There was a cellar, a well and a summer kitchen with an old range and a tiled floor. It was the land and the outbuildings that sold it to us.
A project and a plan
The project suited us perfectly, the main house we could do up or knock down and rebuild for us. The large barn next to it could be renovated for Tristan. If we wanted to, we could spend the summers in Hungary, we would have our own space and as he grew older, Tristan would have his. We would have a base that we could use for holidays in a familiar environment not needing to worry about who he might stay with.
Whether Tristan lives with us for the long term or not, we have the barn, if he doesn’t use it, we can let it out. But for now we are working on the assumption of a retirement for three, us and our son. I know many parents who plan their futures around those they care for too, we are no different. We will embrace it, we will be fortunate to spend plenty of time with him and can adapt our plans if needs be.
Having a house and barn to furnish has also been an never-ending excuse for shopping the antique stores and markets of Hungary for the past five years. Just one of the benefits.
